First Hurdle Done!

Well, we just completed our weekend adoption workshop.  Needless to say we are both overwhelmed and flooded with information.  I learned ALOT.  Its starting to be abit more real now.  It was kinda awkward because I was the only one there with a child, a biological child, which made some people feel abit uneasy ( I saw someone roll their eyes) which is fine.  I understand its hard when you dont have something you want very bad, we were all there for the same goal, we want a child and cant do it physically on our own.  There were some younger couples and some older couples.  All in all, it was a very good workshop, you get to ask anything, you learn TONS, you get to meet other ppl in your same situation, we also got to meet a young birthmom who had given her baby to this family, who was there also.  It was a very weird dynamic, but only weird because I am not there yet.  They're are all friends and the birth mom see's her daughter every few months or on birthdays because that is what they all agreed to.  And she flat out said, that is not my child, I am only the tummy mommy.  Wow, I cant even fathom having to make that choice and to actually follow thru with giving my child to someone else.  But I guess thats only because I am on the other end of the spectrum.  They had a really great relationship, they are all friends but the birth mom doesnt make any decsions or discipline the child.  They will be telling the little girl all about her adoption and be very open and honest.  I guess its all kinda hard to take in right now, its surreal.  How am I going to "share" this child yet she is still called my own?  Its all so crazy, but we do get to decide how much we want the birth parents in our life and before we get the baby, they have to agree to our "terms" and also, vice versa.  So, hopefully we find a match that is best suited to our expectations, soon.

We have alot of info to absorb after this weekend, but we still agree, this is what we want to do.
We both have alot of love to give, we both want a baby, so this is our best route to achieve these goals.  For those who dont already know, my doc has told me to stop trying to get pregnant.  I have an auto-immune disease which in laymens terms means, my body kills anything "foreign" that enters it (and tries to grow).  So, at least we finally have a reason for the losses and why after 3-4yrs, nothing has come from us trying, and spending so much money to a fertility clinic.  That money can now be used to make the adoption choice, a reality.

Thanks for listening *whew!*